I took part in the 7-day silent retreat with Sadhama, and it was a truly life changing experience. Vipassana is a Pali word that stands for 'clear-seeing' or 'insight'. Having previously heard about the 7 to 10-day meditation challenge, I never seriously considered that this would be something I'd ever venture into.
Life has different plans. When my partner accidentally stumbled upon one right at our doorstep, with an element of yoga and sauna (!) incorporated into it, I began to feel the calling, and my excuses started to gently evaporate. After all, for the first time in over three years, I could go offline for a week without the sky falling, so what was stopping me?
So, for the entirety of last week, I spent on a field, in silence, with 50 others who had made this strange commitment to their own evolution. The days began at 4.30 in the morning with the gong, and continued until 9 pm in the evening paced with 45-minute segments of both sitting and walking meditation. The instructions were plain, and the outcome clear: understand the nature of the mind and, as a result, the reality you live in, or, the reality you create for yourself as a result of your relationship to your mind.
There was no dinner, and the first two days rained pretty much constantly. At the point where nearly all my essential items were starting to be pretty soaked, the sun made an appearance. "See, your vision is clearing, and as a result, the weather!" - we were told.
Funnily, this was true. The first few days were hard. Once we passed the halfway mark, things started to feel lighter. The meditations finally began to feel like "they should." I wouldn't have been able to do this without the amazing lead of the incredible dharma teacher Dmitry, whose stoic wisdom truly drilled into our superficially suffering minds why this knowledge is so essential.
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Who do you want to run your life? For the first three days, I found my thoughts to be utterly insufferable; superficial, gimmicky, frantic, and judgmental. After three days, I began to notice the impact of the meditations where my thoughts began to rise at a slower pace and became easier to tame. By the completion of the retreat, I found myself to be in a foreign space of peaceful contentment.
After finally being able to speak for the first time in seven days, I found a deep kinship with my fellow meditators. We had already shared so much, albeit without words. The retreat organizers incorporated a sharing session to the last night, and I cannot describe the feeling of seeing your mute fellow beings come into light and share their reasons for stepping onto the path of such deep self-inquiry and discipline. We laughed, and we cried hearing each other's shares.
Traditional Vipassana is arranged in an exactly same way as Buddhist monks would practice in a monastery. The practice is simple, elegant, and challenging. In the West, we build our lives around our wishes and desires, our comforts and pleasantries. Unfortunately, as a result, we become evermore trapped in cycles of dependency when we no longer reign our own beings, but rather are pulled by our minds along like helpless children.
Most people don't ever even consider doing anything to overcome the madness of their own minds, but as the Buddhist know so well, what results is an endless cycle of suffering. Vipassana invites us to first witness our internal havoc, and secondly, take charge by quieting the mind and repeatedly bringing ones' awareness to the present moment.
Most importantly, there are no shortcuts, no tricks one can pull to make the process any easier. Belief in your own capacity and your constant commitment to the practice are the main tools on your path to lighter reality.
After returning home, I've felt an amazing sense of calm stability, gratitude, and focus. I feel that my time has been extended, my mind is at rest, and I've experienced a long needed reset, which put me right back on my tracks. I feel called to learn more and to find a way to give back, now that I've had the opportunity to receive this knowledge that so many people go without for all their lives.
We all can alleviate suffering, in our own lives, and in the lives of others, and I'd warmly recommend starting with the mess of your own mind. God knows we need more sane people in this insane world. Sadhamayoga, you've helped me more than I can express 🙏🙏🙏 The care that went into the food, space holding, and the treatments was palpable, and I left with my heart full of gratitude that people like you exist.
May all beings be safe, free, and happy.